Friday, April 23, 2010

Weak in the knees

I ran so hard this morning I thought my knees were going to give out.
And it was only for 5 minutes.
Afterwards I felt passing out...and my knees were throbbing. Beyond frusterating....and yet I continue to try and run faster, longer and better. Just load up on Advil to numb it.

Today was a day of confession for me. Not to any one person, but to myself and to God. It needed to be done.
Down on my knees, those painful knees, and confessing to everything I've been and done in the past while. But as good as it feels to release those things - now all my emotions are at the surface and just waiting to bubble over. I can't simply take an Advil for this and hope it goes away.....they are there....and words will be said.

Knowing me, it's going to happen in a circumstance I don't want it to.
So much to think and pray about these next couple days. Some silly, some serious.

My knees are weak, painful and ready to give out. But continuing to fall on my knees to Him may be the best solution in this case.....

"Would you mind if I pretended I was someone else,
with courage in love and war.
I use to think that's what I was,
but now this lying hurts to much,
and I don't know what for.

I'm weak in the knees for you, but I'll stand if you want me to.
My legs are strong, and I'll move on
But honey I'm weak in the knees"

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Driven to distractions

I get distracted when I'm driving. Whether it's changing the song on my Ipod because I don't feel like rocking out to Lady Gaga at 7am, trying to find a free cupholder to put my coffee mug in or staring at the red light until I don't even realize it turns green....I'm distracted.
So is the lady in the lane beside me who's too busy putting on her lipstick and curling her eyelashes in the car to notice that she's about 5 feet INTO the intersection and blocking traffic. OK, I'm not THAT bad thank goodness.

Point being, distractions take our focus off the task at hand, our current path and our ultimate goal.

My ultimate goal in the morning is to get to work....but my ultimate goal in life is to live according to His word, to live a life pleasing to the Lord in order to receive my reward in Heaven.

But like that daily drive to work, life is lived one day at a time. ONE DAY. And one day holds too many distractions to count.

Keeping my eyes and heart on Him during those 24 hours is harder than keeping my eyes 100% focused on the road. But we can seek comfort in the fact that if we find our wheels turning off His road, or even when we lose complete control - simply asking Him to "take the wheel" is enough.

What are some daily things that distract you from God?

Friday, April 9, 2010

the grudge

No I'm not talking about the movie....but if I was, let's just say that instead of sitting here typing this I would be hidden under a blanket refusing to come out until the movie was over. I'm a self-proclaimed wimp and I need something or someone to hide behind while I think happy thoughts about sunshine and flowers and bunnies.

Bunnies aside, let's talk about real grudges. The ones that reflect a not so happy side of us.
They fester and annoy to the point where a grudge can define certain relationships! I held on to my hate for people that bullied me in elementary school for years until I finally realized it had become a part of me. A part of me that I did NOT want following me around anymore.

Ladies (and boys), we all know girls can be catty, cruel and just plain mean. Let's be honest! I've been that person, and so have you. But how are we ANY better by turning around and thinking up ways to "get back at them" or talking about those people behind THEIR backs? Think Mean Girls for a fight anyone?

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 NIV says "Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you. For you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others"

That was a defining verse for me. Yes, talking trash may make us feel better in that moment - but really, in the long run is it really helping? Are we reflecting goodness, truth and most importantly: Jesus? Heck NO! We have no right to get upset and call someone out on something when we have said or done the same thing. Does it feel good to just let it go and LOVE someone despite what they've said about you? Heck YES. But it's hard....we're human and we're sensitive and we hold grudges.

Try this: Let those people see what they're missing by not making comments about someone's hair and how "fuzzy" it is today (true story!), let them see you walk by with a smile instead of telling them their eyes are crossed. It will drive them crazy and cause them to think.....I really need to listen to myself sometimes.

Seriously though.....put it into practice. We need all the support and help we can get. If we aren't lifting up - we're only strangling and dragging ourselves down with those who we hold that grudge against. Love them, love you and love God.

Simple, right? ;)

And now I want a bunny. :P